Advancing AwarenessTo Get More Love In Your Life
The Psychology, Technology, Neuroscience and Spirituality of
Reducing Unhappiness by Becoming Progressively Loving
I'm Not Enough And You Can Be
I’M NOT HAPPY WITH WHO I AM
If you feel like you are in someway “bad” and if you feel that loving is good, follow the following logic.
If you don’t feel good about yourself, you probably think one or more of the following: I’m not good enough, compared to others, I just don’t have what it takes, I’m just not enough, I’m stupid, I’m careless, I don’t care enough, I’m sloppy, I’m disorganized, I’m a failure. These types of thoughts are most commonly motivated by a feeling of SHAME which is periodically triggered and arises inside of you during these specfic times. The more often it is triggered, the more deeply you feel and believe your shame. And, it really is -- all belief.
When you feel shame, it diminishes your ability to experience love. If you can keep yourself in the feeling of love “as much as possible” (AMAP), you can preempt and reprogram the feeling of shame.
If the shame is very deeply rooted because it was created through chronic neglect or repeated emotional trauma, it may have to be dealt with in psychotherapy. I would recommend a seasoned EMDR therapist. Ask them to explain if they used EMDR in a different way for issues of neglect verses more direct trauma. If you hear something like the following you will know you have a good therapist. When using EMDR with chronic neglect we follow the feeling more than the memory. The feeling caused from neglect brings up memories rather than using the memory of a traumatic event to bring up the feeling. This happens because with neglect there is no major trauma memory, just the persistent feeling with lots of little snippets of memory.
If the shame is lighter than described above, you can use the 3 Mindful Practices to repeatedly prove to yourself that you are a good person. It’s really quite simple. If you decide to focus your attention to feeling love in your life as much as possible (AMAP) and radiating that good feeling outwardly to others, you can not deny that you are being and acting like a “great” human being. Only good and great human beings can keep themselves focused on being in a loving state. Radiating it outwardly really goes beyond the desire or capability of a truly “bad” person.
To radiate outwardly, one must be motivated by empathy, compassion and passion. If you care enough about yourself to care about others, you must have a large part of you which is good, Only good seeks to be purely good to others.
“Bad people”, “evil people”, do not operate from this place of loving and giving. If they appear to, it is a manipulation to get what they want. They are too self serving and self loving to care much about others.
By being committed and dedicated to remembering to come from love AMAP, you should be constantly proving to yourself that you have the values and intentions of a great person. In this case intention is everything. Because if you want desperately to be in a more loving place and to be a more loving person, you are acting and thinking using very positive, life sustaining values. If you hold dear, positive, life sustaining, connecting values, you are a good person. But you may not yet be able to feel those loving feelings.
If you did not have enough love as a child, it can be hard to impossible to feel it now. And that can change.
Keep using all the information above to talk to yourself about how you must appreciate the positive values you believe in and try to live love AMAP.
The more time you can stay in a loving feeling, within yourself or with others, the more you must acknowledge your great values and right intention. Only good people will and can seek this type of new feeling and behavior.
Simply stay committed to being in a loving state of mind AMAP. “BILAMAP”
