Much of our Suffering is Caused by a Loss of Love

Most of Our Spiritual Growth is Propelled by Expanding Love

As a clinical psychologist, I have the privilege and honor to work with people undergoing some of the most extreme types of suffering and those on the opposite end, seeking the heights of spiritual development.  To explore working together, wherever you might be in the state of California, please use the Contact sheet below.

There are so many forms of suffering but perhaps the worst is when one feels an underlying discomfort with people they love.  Often these people also feel a chronic underlying fear or guilt within themselves.  They receive no emotional rest, as they almost always have a good or bad feeling going on inside, and usually the feeling is one of discomfort.  This type of problem usually starts in infancy, when mothers are unable to meet the physical and emotional needs of their baby.  The great news is this pre-verbal level of disturbance can now be healed.   See how.  

What I call extreme suffering are those people who feel truly out of control with feelings and behaviors, as if they are possessed by a part of themselves that they have little to no control over.  The vast majority of our problems come from our life experiences, when the painful emotions are not properly reviewed and released from the mind and body.  When old feelings remain improperly stored in the brain it is easy for life to trigger off new feelings which trigger off old feelings and we then feel out of control with the sensitivity and intensity of the emotion we are feeling.  Others then see us as sensitive and problematic.  There is a relatively new (about 22 years old now) therapeutic solution which can eliminate these feelings at the core. This most profound therapeutic technique is called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). 

In another extreme condition, people feel out of control and only have vague recollections of certain things that happen regularly.  This is a process called "dissociation".  It can be changed by doing highly specialized "ego state integration" work. This is a very exacting, yet artful process which I will guide you through, should you need it.

Whether you are struggling with a dissociated ego state or feelings of depression, anxiety, shame, guilt, anger, or fear, these feelings can usually be eliminated by fixing the core of the problem, using EMDR.  And EMDR is not always the treatment of choice.  There are always other options.

To really eliminate these problem feelings and thoughts, the root of the problem must be fixed.  Much of our current suffering comes from having gone through painful life experiences where these troubled feelings were never completely resolved.  And if you have grown up in a home where painful feelings were intense or chronic, they are usually still stored incorrectly in the mind, brain and body, from the time they happened.  As a result, memories get stored with feelings still connected.  Memories are not suppose to be stored with feeling.  These old feelings are then reactivated, during new experiences which unconsciously remind us of the old unresolved experience. So, when you see a reaction to a situation which seems much more intense or exaggerated than you think it should be, it is most likely because an old feeling is being activated on top of the current feeling, and things seem "over the top".  EMDR is the most powerful and rapid therapeutic method for eliminating these painful conditions.

If you feel unsafe, lack a sense of your own goodness or even have the sense of being invisible, I can help.

As your therapist, I take a great deal of the responsibility for helping you feel better. When a memory is stored with feeling still attached, it is very difficult for an individual to get rid of it on his/her own.  The possibility of real healing comes with a therapist who can walk you through the desensitizing of the old feeling, along with fostering growth and integration which occurs with reprocessing the old memory.  

Ultimately, this means that we will not only focus on eliminating old pain in therapy but will also enhance and reconnect to the positive parts of you.

I work with adults, children (7 years and up), parents, families, and work extensively with teens.